…..i’ve fucked everything up…..
February 2011
reblogged
i feel all over the place,
the distance growing greater between all my selves.
we talked and laughed about our many selves once,
waiting for a bus, in our own little world made from the feelingd we felt.
i asked for some space to think,
for some unknown reason feeling hurt and lost.
why did i think that would make things clearer?!
it just makes me ache for the feeling of you holding me close.
so, what might i have realised in the last 24 hours?
that not talking to you is downright painful!
i’m sorry for causing you any doubt or pain,
and i’d try and be romantic and put this in a letter, but my handwritting is just plain awful.
i still feel all over the place,
but i think that’s just what you do to me.
in my heart is where you belong,
and this wont be the last time it happens….but for now can you forgive me for my confusing moment of idiocy?
just found this link, thanks to bloody facebook, for
National Geographic Student Expeditions!it sounds so amazing, and from as long as i can remember, all i’ve ever wanted to do is get out into the world and see everything, experience everything! if we won the lotery i’d be gone in a flash for the whole of summer!….
my heart actually hurts, the oppitunity soo close…dare i?
jeez, what the hell is wrong with me! been feeling so out of it, so absent minded, completely and utterly ungrounded. my life seems to have ground to a stand still. it’s like i’m standing on the outside of life, looking in, not participating. i can’t finish any books i’ve been trying to read, i havn’t got any energy, can’t face my diary, can’t think what to write next for my novel, don’t want to look back at who i used to be, can’t be sure of my future, can’t make sense of who i am now. i feel like my existence is just a blink of time in eternity, just a grain of sand that used to be a mountain or just a raindrop where i used to be an ocean. disconected, uprooted, invisible, not whole…..
…the begining forgotten…..the ending lost…..the days fading away like ash on a wind….
“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” - Sam Keen
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” - Lao Tzu
“You don’t love a woman because she’s beautiful; she is beautiful because you love her.” - anonymous quote
“It is love, not reason, that is stronger than death.” - Thomas Mann
“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” - Rumi
wanting to be lost and not found
misplaced in infinity
trying to find silence in the sound
longing for singularity
(noun): a vague feeling of sadnesss seemingly without cause.